Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk

Serious sports analysts Meg and Piper dive into the heart of hockey, sharing feelings-based commentary and discussing the latest in hockey news! Spoiler: they're not serious, nor are they sports analysts. They just really, really love hockey.
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Shut Yer Five Hole Hockey Talk



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Jun 23, 2018

Take one last, severely belated look at the season with Meg and Piper! We share our fave moments from the 2017-18 season, and let you know what to expect for the off-season!

May 4, 2018

This week, Meg and Piper discuss round 2 of the playoffs, pro hockey "where are they now" stories, and more! 

Apr 19, 2018

It's Stanley Cup Playoffs, and you know what that means! Misery, complaining, and more misery. We try to figure out why Snoop Dogg is teaching us about hockey, analyze the Vegas Golden Knights' dramatic game 1 intro, and generally just get upset about things.

Apr 6, 2018

Piper is back again, podcasting from Vietnam! We get stoked on backup goalies and NHL rivalries, simultaneously diss and tip our hats to the Vegas Golden Knights, and ask the question: why can't hockey players button their shirts right?

Mar 22, 2018

This week, while Piper is away having cool adventures and eating delicious noodles, Meg is joined by special guest host and good pal Lee! We get to know Lee, complain about the standings (wtf Golden Knights?), and subject Lee to a Quebec-themed quiz!

Mar 8, 2018

We're back! With a rundown of Meg's errant health, reactions from the Olympics, a trade rant, Moms! and more. 

Feb 8, 2018

This week we tackle our best and worst of the All-Star Game, bid farewell to a hockey legend, and pitch our million-dollar hockey ideas to the BBC. Also, Piper almost died recently and she tells us about it!

Jan 25, 2018

We're back and better than ever, with our most professional and put-together episode to date! Tune in for 2018 predictions, a lesson on now defunct hockey teams, an embarrassing game (for everyone), and Shut Yer Five Hole's official stance on the Iowa Wild's mechanical bull situation.

Dec 28, 2017

In this, the last episode of 2017, we harshly judge this year's NHL holiday videos and share our best and worst moments of 2017 in hockey!

Dec 14, 2017

Meg and Piper disagree on an unprecedented number of things! Meg actually does okay on this week's quiz! We get stoked on Seattle, share our hockey holiday gift giving tips, and other nonsense!

Nov 30, 2017

Piper gets on her soapbox about negativity in the media and hockey players as... real people? We do that hockey with Chance the Rapper's SNL sketch, Professor Piper gives us the 411 on the Blues, and there's a quiz about some obscure league called the ECHL.

Nov 16, 2017

Are you sick of hearing about that crazy Duchene trade yet? Yes? Well too bad, because buckle up for Meg & Piper opinions. Then we meet infant baby Chu-Ouellette, weigh in on our heated "hockey fights" debate, and welcome a special guest on the show! Diva is visiting to share her deep well of knowledge on Evgeni Malkin, & very important hot takes on women's hockey!

Nov 2, 2017

It's our spooky Halloween episode, airing on November 2nd! Close enough. We talk spooky NHL costumes, the spooky Mexican Hockey League, the Arizona Coyotes finally winning a spooky game, and spooky bromance! It's spooooky.

Oct 19, 2017

Record-breaking hat tricks! Marc-Andre McFlurry and the Vegas Golden Knights! The villainous KHL Red Army! Mascot abs! Meg and Piper are here to bring you everything you could possibly want from the second episode of the second season.

Oct 5, 2017

We're back for the regular season! We warm up with a quiz, share what we missed the most about hockey, and make carefully researched predictions about the 2017-18 season.

Aug 10, 2017

Join Meg and Piper in the dead of summer for their thoughts on hockey weddings, the Carolina Hurricanes, the ESPN Body Issue, and body shots. With bonus mini-game! 

Jun 29, 2017

It's our first off season episode! We talk the NHL Awards, Vegas Golden Knights expansion draft, and ask: why are hockey players so bad at acting like real life human beings?

Jun 15, 2017

Your hosts talk the Stanley Cup, give thanks for a truly fruitful season, and hit you with all the deets for Shut Yer Five Hole's off-season and beyond! (Is that what the kids say? "Hit you up"? "Deets"??)

Jun 8, 2017

Tune in for the penultimate episode of season 1 with Piper and Meg! We talk Nashville decibel level conspiracies; the Stanley Cup Final and how we hope it all wraps up; and last but not least, we tackle a very controversial subject: would we get our grubby hands up on that Stanley Cup if given the chance?

Jun 1, 2017

Your hosts bring their expert hockey analysis to the Stanley Cup Finals! We talk shots on goal, Rinne's save percentages, Corsi, and-- just kidding, we mostly just try to figure out what kind of sea creature we'd put down our pants if we had the chance. (But also hockey stuff, don't worry!)

May 25, 2017

Join Meg and Piper in a special gloomy episode! We put a lot of hockey players in the sin bin. A whole pile of guys. Sin bin o' dudes! (Now available with every order of SYFH.)

May 18, 2017

Meg blacks out and goes on an anti-Ryan Kesler diatribe, Piper tries desperately to find interesting facts about the Ottawa Senators (spoiler: there aren't any), and the Penguins are still winning somehow.

May 11, 2017

Piper is back from the war! This week Meg can't begin to articulate her Game 7 stress, Piper shares some words of wisdom from her post-operative drug haze, and we laugh at Connor McDavid's awkward airport photo op.

May 4, 2017

Piper is out of commission this week, so Meg is joined by special guest host Donya to discuss the epic drama of the Capitals vs Penguins series. What was up with that hit on Crosby? Is Ovechkin really part of a dark murder plot against the entire Pens roster? We tackle these pressing questions and more!

Apr 27, 2017

This week Meg and Piper talk playoffs, complain about all these ding dang overtimes, and ask: if your team is dead, who are you cheering for now? Plus bonus AHL content!

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